Disclaimer: This is the stuff that worked for me, it may not work for everyone.
Today's tip is for the lower libido partner.
After scheduling sex nights, when they arrived I still would not be very turned on. A little bit, I suppose. But I was still slightly indifferent. I knew I had to put in more effort to get out of mommy mode and into a sexy mode of thinking.
I read erotica, viewed some pornography, looked up tips on sexual techniques; anything to get me thinking about sex. I would look at this stuff mainly immediately before sex, just to get into the mood. At first anyway. Over time I cut out porn (not really my thing), but found myself reading more tips and more erotica here and there throughout the day. Even on days that we weren't scheduled to have sex! I became more at ease with the subject, and felt more like a sexual being.
GET IN THE MOOD
Whatever this entails for you. How do you get turned on? Pictures or videos of people having sex? Words describing it? Relaxing in a bathtub and pampering yourself? Whatever it is, do it. Do it a lot!
If possible, involve your higher-libido partner in part of this process. Take extra long with foreplay. Start with massages, making out, over-the-clothes petting, whatever. Often times the HL partner is craving not only sex itself, but physical intimacy as well.
Be open to being turned on even if no sex will be had that evening. And if you do crave sex on a non-scheduled night, your partner will likely be psyched for you to initiate! But if you don't want full-on sex, consider masturbating. The more open you are to having sexual moments, the easier it will be.
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